What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

HELLO

Sure no problem officer.

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

{RING} {RING}

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Do Republicans give permission to Democrats to vote for any candidate except for Kamala Harris?

After a few moments he returns.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Yes sir it is.

How do I build rapport with anybody?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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